The issue of long-distance relationships is very divisive in the world of dating. There is no agreement on whether they are worth investing in. Some people say the long-distance relationship (LDR) is basically a world of frustration and heartache. They ask why people would knowingly engage in a relationship that is doomed from the beginning? Others ask if two people are deeply compatible and believe in the potential of a partnership, does distance really matter? If you are reading this then you are probably in an LDR or thinking about investing in one and asking yourself whether it can work. Here are some things to consider.
What do the both of you want?
This is the first question that needs to be asked before investing in an LDR. You need to know whether the both you are on the same page when it comes to the direction the relationship is headed in. You also need to be aware of how long you plan to give it before you make the decision to live closer to one another or give up on the relationship.
Are you willing to relocate?
This is the logical next question. You should start the discussion as early as possible and work out whether either one of you are willing to relocate in the end. If neither one of you wish to relocate but have a desire to get married and have a family then it is pretty obvious that regardless of how well you both get on, that the relationship will not work so try and get this issue sorted from onset.
How often do you actually get to see each other?
Ideally you should be seeing each other at least once a month. Anything less makes its much harder to develop a sense of true intimacy even if you communicate a lot. Physical contact like a hug or a kiss is critical for developing a strong bond. 80 per cent of human communication is in fact non verbal. This means if you don’t see each other regularly you will not be able to participate in this important part of communication.
Do you have an open mind?
All romantic relationships need to be approached with an open mind. If you have had bad experiences with LDR’s in the past then obviously you are going to be cautious. However, you should try and be optimistic and approach each relationship by asking “What If this person is perfect for me and we could be really happy together?”
Balancing optimism with pragmatism
So long as you maintain a balance between optimism with pragmatism then you have little to lose and you will find there are actually some benefits to long-term relationships. You get to pursue your own interests and they also allow you the opportunity to travel. You also are forced to be more creative about how you connect with your partners. Each couple will find different plus points but it is important you are aware of them so that when you find the going is getting tough, you remind yourself of them.